San Antonio or bust

Ok, last night was Friday and I didn't have to be up early today for work, however I was in bed by 9:45. I remember the old days when I could stay up half the night and then go to work at 7 AM, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Somehow I went and got old, and I don't recommend it. Granted, with age comes wisdom, but it hardly seems fair that I'm too tired to use any of this new insight.

I digress.

I'm going to San Antonio today with CP. This is our first road trip, and it should be very telling to see how things go. He has a friend that is moving to New York to pursue her dreams, and we are going to SA to attend a party in her honor. He was already warned me that some of his friends there are big lushes, and already I'm mildly uncomfortable thinking about it. Since it is also a pool party, I'm taking my bathing suit, along with a really good book I'm currently reading (The Beach House by Mary Alice Monroe), and I hope it will keep me entertained the hours that I will be required to stay there. I would much rather go see the Alamo and the Riverwalk, but I realize that not everything is about me. Drat.

I should mention that I gave up caffeine a couple of months ago, and coming from this caffeineaholic, I figured it would be really hard. It wasn't. I just started drinking herbal tea in the morning to perhaps "fool" my body by drinking something hot instead, and apart from a few headaches in the beginning, the transition was minor. I still from time to time drink a soda if I'm at a fast food type joint that doesn't have water, but I find it now makes me feel bloated and lethargic later.

I also have completely changed my eating habits: one meal a day I don't eat any meat. To tell the truth, I read Fast Food Nation a couple of months ago, and I was so grossed out by it that I swore I'd never eat red meat again. Yet I know that pork and chicken is just as gross...and cruel to the animals. If you ever want to see what the meat packing industry is really like, go to youtube and search for slaughterhouse and meat. It is horrifying.

I am rather disappointed that my camera was stolen, along with my mp3 player. My apartment complex doesn't provide any security, and the night of the 4th, 22 cars were broken into here in the garage, and I'd forgotten and left my gym bag in my car. They broke a $200 window in the process. I'm not amused, and I'm doing everything possible to force my complex to get some security, including writing letters to the local TV stations and the papers. I mean it's getting serious: it began with the random car getting broken into, then 22 cars in one night, to random break ins during the day, to cars now getting stolen. With no sort of plan in place to keep things from escalating, I'm worried the residents will soon have to deal with our apartments broken into, or worse: being held up and robbed walking from the garage at night. Remember how excited I was to move to a big apartment complex with a well-known management company? Well, it hasn't been what I expected.

Enough about that. I don't want to be all negative and shit so early in the morning. I still am faithfully following The Secret, and I know that in some way or another I attacted this to me. So many times I would lie in bed at night thinking "I hope no one breaks into my car", and essentially I was placing an order to the universe for that very thing to happen. It's rather hard monitoring my thoughts though!

Continuing with my randomonia, I'm burning a CD to listen to on the road. No road trip is complete without Obsession by Animotion. I wonder what ever happened to those hos?

Over and out.

07-22-07

Ok, so I know it's been forever since I've written. It's not because I haven't had things going on per se, however sometimes when I know that people want me to do something (such as write in my blog), my brain somehow malfunctions and makes me that much more convinced not to do it. Yes, I'm working on that item.

Where to begin? I guess I'll just pick up like I never stopped.

So anywho, I was at the gym this morning and there was some guy making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the locker room. No shit. He had a loaf of Wonder Bread, a jar of peanut butter, a jar of grape jelly, and a knife, and he was sitting there making sandwiches like it was nobody's business. I found it a little odd, but given some of the lockerroom activities I've witnessed over the years, I guess this was rather tame. Most of the more lascivious activities involved putting more than just a sandwich in your mouth, if you catch my drift. Wocka wocka.

I'm still seeing CP, and although we classify each other as boyfriends, we haven't said the L word. Frankly, I don't feel it yet, and unlike some of my previous relationships where I said it before the close of our first date, I'm not rushing anything. Buying a gallon of milk is too big a commitment these days.

CP has a rather vigorous schedule, and sometimes I go up to a week without laying eyes on him. Normally that's fine, however when I do see him we're on such a time schedule before he has to be at the next place that we usually spend our time together running errands and shit. Yesterday for example, we drove around looking for me a new apartment (more about that later), perusing the selection of shelving at Homo Depot, and working out at the gym. Romantic, huh?

Don't get me wrong...CP is a total sweetheart. I'm just trying to figure out if that's enough to continue a relationship. The road is paved with good intentions, no?

On another note, I'm saddened to hear of Tammy Faye's passing. She was a bright light and will be missed.

05-31-07

Ok, I admit that I've been bad. I haven't updated in a really long time, but I haven't really felt like writing. It's not because things are bad really. In fact, in my years of blogging, I tend to write more when things are bad. So don't worry my pretties...things are swell.

I promise I'll be back when I feel like writing again. I'll be back.

05-21-07

I haven't really written much about how I feel about CP. He really represents the last thing I was looking for, and perhaps it really is better that way. Were I left to wait until I actually felt ready/prepared/open to date somebody, I’d probably be a very old, very bitter man.

I’m not very good at defining relationships, and that’s been a sticking point for me in the past. In previous relationships where the term boyfriend was used, there were an intricate series of tiny steps that led to the title. However, I’ve come to the realization over the past several months that I tend to overanalyze the joy out of casually dating someone. This part of dating, the initial trial period, is the good part. It’s supposed to be heady and impetuous and magical, and my tendency is to question what the fuck it all means. And sometimes, what it means is that you’re just supposed to learn about the other guy and have fun in the process.

I keep reminding myself of this.

In other news, I just learned today the word blog is actually a shortened form of web log. Did everyone know this but me?

05-20-07

Well, here we are at yet another Sunday evening, and I'm mentally preparing to start the week again. I'm off this Friday, then Monday is Memorial Day, so it's going to be a short week with an equally long weekend. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm finding that I somehow went from mildly dreading spending time with CP to really looking forward to it. Let me clarify: spending time with someone new is really hard for me because that whole "getting to know you" thing is really hard. However we're both a bit dorky, so we balance each other out.

Anywho, CP is coming over tomorrow night to cook dinner with me and to watch the Heroes season finale. I can't wait to see how the season ends.

Did I mention that last night CP brought me chocolates from The Chocolate Bar?

Changing the subject, I realize that I haven't been writing in my blog much these days. I guess I've been letting my internal filters - what few I have left - censor the process. I have yet to determine if that's a good thing.

To tell the truth, I've been trying to just let go and experience some joy. There's a lot of it there, and after 7 years of blogging I can't let go of the feeling that I need to chronicle it somewhere to keep from losing sight of it. If I don't write it down, did it really happen?

If a tree falls down in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Man, I have gone on a major tangent. I do believe it's time to curl up in bed with a good book.

05-19-07

Ok, I went with CP last night to see Spider Man 3, and I was disappernted. There was so many storyline going on that I couldn't keep up. Then we came back to my aperntment and hung out a while. I was in bed by 11:30.

Tonight CP is coming over and we're going to watch a documentary called Gates of Heaven that I've wanted to watch for ages. I also think we're going to play Scrabble.

In the meantime, I can't stop watching this:



S-S-S-S-Samantha Fox! She totally needs to make a comeback.

05-17-07

Oh blogging...how I love ye.
I love recording my thoughts for the whole world to see.
But wait, I haven't blogged in 4 whole days!
Cuz instead I've been sitting on the couch with my knitting and some Lays.

I say that in jest...it was really takeout Chinese. Last night CP came over and we got takeout from Dragon Bowl and then watched Grey Gardens. I loved it. As my friend Scott pointed out, the scene where the mother is boiling corn on a hot plate in her bedroom is priceless. "He always complements me on my corn..."

Awesome.

I just heard on TV there's a drag queen called Suppositori Spelling. That made my night.