Monday, May 21, 2007

05-21-07

I haven't really written much about how I feel about CP. He really represents the last thing I was looking for, and perhaps it really is better that way. Were I left to wait until I actually felt ready/prepared/open to date somebody, I’d probably be a very old, very bitter man.

I’m not very good at defining relationships, and that’s been a sticking point for me in the past. In previous relationships where the term boyfriend was used, there were an intricate series of tiny steps that led to the title. However, I’ve come to the realization over the past several months that I tend to overanalyze the joy out of casually dating someone. This part of dating, the initial trial period, is the good part. It’s supposed to be heady and impetuous and magical, and my tendency is to question what the fuck it all means. And sometimes, what it means is that you’re just supposed to learn about the other guy and have fun in the process.

I keep reminding myself of this.

In other news, I just learned today the word blog is actually a shortened form of web log. Did everyone know this but me?

6 comments:

Scott W said...

Well, I knew that item. So, what are you feeling for this CP anyway?

Jaye said...

Try to relax, have fun, and be happy ;)

Pam said...

sorry, I think everyone knew but you..ho hum.
I dated my boyfried for 4 years before I called him boyfriend, and 9 years before we used the "L" word!....so I'd say we are all different on this issue. Go with the natural flow...eskimo.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, you're right... you haven't shared with us how (and what) you feel for CP. C'mon, spill! And as for 'blog', I think you're the really the last person to know, man. Sorry :-P -urbancadence-

Anonymous said...

What, no update in 9 days? Where have you been, bitch? :o) -urbancadence-

Kimberly C said...

I completely understand the need to analyze every moment of the beginning stages of a relationship and the inevitable misery that follows. It should be a fun time.
We KNOW what we DON'T want and think we know what we do want, but haven't a clue what we actually need.
For me it's a combination of trying to protect myself from previous mistakes, getting played or being vulnerable or ignorant in any way.
But you really should TRY to enjoy it.
My friends are always my touchstones that bring me back to me...remind me who I am, etc.
I've been away for a while. It's so good to read that you are doing well, love.
Kim - Houston